Celebrating International Women’s Day but Without Controversy
Every year on 8th March, two things happen. One is that I become a year older, and the second is that it is International Women’s Day. The first event is only about me, so it is not that important. However, the second event is about a dozen or so women who are part and parcel of my life. They are my family members, someone I am in love with, and the friends who have been instrumental in making me the best version of me. It is said that a person is the reflection of the company they keep. Let’s just neutralize this sentence and replace it with “human.”
Today is the day, and there is so much controversy around this event. People tend to become reactionary, and those at the opposite poles start to thrash the other party’s view without understanding the core problem. That is how we usually work. So, this year, I decided not to write about controversies like “Mera Jism, Meri Marzi,” “Mujhe raat ko 12 ke baad ghr aana hai,” or “women belong in the kitchen only” or any other thing. The main argument here will be to acknowledge, realize, identify, and resolve some of the core problems without muddying the water.
To start with, I would like to appreciate the work that my mother has done every day for the past several decades. Although she was doing a job, my siblings and I ate her job (she had to leave the job because, yes, we needed time). I have no words to thank her for what she did. She sacrificed her financial independence for our sake. I would like to thank two of my sisters who, without any compulsion, are contributing towards the household with their job and earning. They both work hard, from morning to night, just like my father used to do and my brothers and I do. I would also like to raise a toast to my friends who are mothers, and some are not, but still, they put on their shoes in the morning, walk the streets, and bear the men at their workplace, on the streets, in bazaars, and in shopping malls. I am saying this because, as a man, I know men have the habit of staring, eye-locking, touching, trying to assault, and thinking of women as sex objects.
We men also have to understand that if something is coming from the wrong person, it does not mean it must be rejected. If men, including me, are not happy with the overall theme of the “Aurat March” or its slogans, it does not mean that all that is displayed there does not merit attention. There are thousands and thousands of cases where women are subjected to some of the most horrific mental and physical torture, and the people I know and respect are victims of it. So here are some of my suggestions. Men, please pay attention:
- Men of the 21st century world, you have no right to stare, smirk, pass a smile, and touch women in bazaars, on bikes, in public transport, or in the house.
- Cooking is by no means a degradation of manhood. My leader, my mentor, and leader of Islam, Muhammad SAW, used to do it.
- Men who are married need to respect women in their bodily, worldly, and spiritual needs.
- Using a microwave is very easy, heating food, or fixing a sandwich is even easier, so do give it a try.
- Women have the right to dignified earnings, jobs, and financial independence. Believe me, this will make the household more prosperous.
- Raising a child is not and should not be the end of the world for women.
- If you like smoking, then there is no law that guides you to say “no smoking for women” (although it’s best to avoid it altogether)
There are many other things that can be done to support women’s rights, and I invite you to share your thoughts in the comments. Women make up 50% of the world’s population, and they have the right to exercise their rights without needing anyone’s permission. Let’s focus on the real issues and debates surrounding women’s rights, and not get lost in useless arguments.
